This is a struggle I have been facing for some part of my life now and I just wanted to share my struggles and how I get along when it come to work and life in general.
What is fibromyalgia?
It is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. The pain moves around the body and changes at any time.
My symptoms are?
My symptoms come in different types, most of the time they get worse when I am stressed out. I get neck pain; shoulder pain; back pain; knee pain; ankle pain (one foot); hip pain; arm and wrist pain; gastro problems, fatigue, my mood goes up and down (sometimes I feel such an anger I want to punch something or someone and other times I kind of feel depressed and want to stay alone all day); jaw pain; headaches; chest pain and I am not quite sure but I think I developed a milk intolerance as well. I also have insomnia.
How and when I was diagnosed?
So the pain started when I was in varsity (even though I suspect it started earlier and only got worse when I was at UCT) because this the time I was most stressed out (2014) and i got this really bad back pain that lasted for sometime between 1 and 2 months. Then when I was at home it started moving to my wrist, then really bad headaches (I always had them but they got worse) that would not go away with more sleep or drinking water.
Then my neck and shoulders started with the pain as well. My arms were next and this made it hard to write my exams, most especially when it was cold. Then my hips and jaw followed and then from there it started shifting but mostly concentrated at my neck and shoulders. I went to about four doctors and they told me different stories ( it was arthritis, in my mind or all that things was what I was told my the doctors) and they gave me pain pills on top of pain pills, which never did anything for me of course. But there was a doctor that I went to and I think he was a physiotherapist and that was the one that relived some pain for a long period of time (I am thinking of going back to them)
But then I moved to a new area when I was starting my culinary school and I knew I had to find out what I had so it does not disturb my studies. So I went to a doctor close to where I stayed and on the first day of meeting him, he asked my medical history and I told him all I was going through, he examined me and told me he thinks it is fibromyalgia. At that time I had done some internet search and suspected it could be it but I was like nah, and he just confirmed i. but of course he did some test to also rule out any other causes, but he did get a final decision that it was it. Also there is no way definitive blood or any other test to prove you have fibromyalgia, this was towards the end of 2017.
How it affects me mentally and emotionally?
Since it something that people cannot see, ,most people do not believe when I tell them that I spend most of the days in pain and tired even though I slept all night, some nights. Because nothing is broken, no one can see pain and they assume you are just making it up. And for work it is the worst because with this ailment you are meant to pace yourself and in a restaurant you cannot really do that. And all that does to me is tire me out and destroy my body.
I do try and explain to people but its as if I am talking nonsense and they never take me seriously and of course they will never understand what I am going through and I don’t expect them to, but I expect understanding and compassion. All of this gets me down and sometimes it hard to be happy when you are always in pain, but you just get through the day. I get emotionally exhausted at trying to justify my illness and I am just going to stop. (all I am gonna say is, if you do not understand someone’s sickness just read up on it, instead of making fun or denying it because that can get to people in ways you will not understand).
What is the treatment?
There is no cure for it yet. And all they can do now is to try and reduce your pain. Also exercise is said to help (but for me I cannot do all the exercises because it can trigger a pain attack at times but doing leg exercises doesn’t hurt as much). There are anti-inflammation pills that help some people, but have not worked for me so far.
Staying positive
Being positive at time can be hard. But wallowing in self pity will not get you anywhere in life. This only but a stumbling block but not one I cannot get over. Everyone is going through something in their lives and this is just the challenge that is affecting me today. This illness does not define me or my success. It will not deter me from my goal and dreams. No matter what you are going through in life there is always light at the end of the tunnel, just work hard to get there and the rewards are going to be amazing.
So always stay positive and live your life to the fullest no matter the challenges. Don’t let your sickness rule your life or mood.
Next blog is going to be about some kitchen advice: The do’s and don’ts in the kitchen.
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